


Soulnames

by Stella_Notecor



Series: Soulnames [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-06 00:15:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13399329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stella_Notecor/pseuds/Stella_Notecor
Summary: Getting your soulname in your twenties always seemed like the stupidest idea ever to Jim.You’d lived a quarter of your life by then and certainly dated a few people. What were you supposed to do if your soulname showed up and proved you were with the wrong person?What if your soulname showed up and provedyouwere the wrong person?Jim woke up on his twenty-first birthday to find his soulname emblazoned across his heart.He had figured that it would sayJim, whenever it showed up.But he really hadn’t expected it to also sayCaptain.(One-shot. Jim/Spock, with really minor background Chekov/Bones and Scotty/Uhura. Alternate Universe where you are marked with the name your soulmate uses to think about you. Otherwise canon-compliant through Star Trek Beyond.)





	Soulnames

**Author's Note:**

> I'm SUPER ADDICTED to soulmate AUs right now, so enjoy another one-shot? =)

Getting your soulname in your twenties always seemed like the stupidest idea ever to Jim.

You’d lived a quarter of your life by then and certainly dated a few people. What were you supposed to do if your soulname showed up and proved you were with the wrong person?

What if your soulname showed up and proved _you_ were the wrong person?

Jim woke up on his twenty-first birthday to find his soulname emblazoned across his heart.

He had figured that it would say _Jim_ , whenever it showed up.

But he really hadn’t expected it to also say _Captain_.

* * *

 

“You could have your own ship in eight.” Pike’s declaration made Jim’s stomach flip-flop.

He hadn’t forgotten about his soulname. It just seemed impossible. Everyone he knew went to the Academy straight out of high school. They didn’t get arrested multiple times and spend their nights in strangers’ beds.

The _Captain_ written across his heart in tidy, tiny handwritten glared at him in the mirror day after day until he finally stuck a long-lasting plaster on top of it.

He left _Jim_ uncovered. His bedpartners liked to trace the little letters and call him Jim in husky, seductive voices. The few times he let someone see _Captain_ , they’d laughed.

Why the hell did he have to be one of the “lucky” ones who got two names? Most people with two names had _Daddy_ or a nickname or even some sappy pet name like _Pumpkin Pie_ for the second one.

Which, honestly, he’d have been a little freaked out if _Daddy_ had shown up on his chest, but at least that was a normal name—either because they would be co-parenting with you or because of a kink. Jim didn’t judge, but he had no intention of being anyone’s _Daddy_.

He had no intention of becoming anyone’s _Captain_ either, until Pike showed up with his stupid dare.

Fuck him and his whole “Your father was captain for 12 minutes” shit.

Jim was going to become _Captain_ his own way, in his own time.

* * *

 

“I hope you know what you’re doing, _Captain_.” Uhura spit out the word like it was poison.

Jim’s chest tightened. Old Spock made it seem like Jim was meant to be a captain. His own chest declared that he was supposed to be sitting in that chair.

Yet he couldn’t stop himself from doubting his own actions.

The things he had said to Spock…

Jim squared his shoulders. In the end, it wouldn’t matter, as long as his plan worked.

* * *

 

“Why do my crewmembers keep transferring?”

Bones snorted and propped his legs up on Jim’s ready-room desk. “Maybe because you keep fucking them?”

Jim approved the transfer and dropped the PADD onto his desk. Christine Chapel was the twenty-ninth crewmember he’d slept with… and the twenty-ninth crewmember to request a transfer.

“Who else is going think of me as _Captain_?”

Bones sighed. “You’ve gotta let this soulmate thing go, Jim. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be. If not… well, you’re gonna get in trouble with the Admirals if you keep this up.”

“I got my mark right at twenty-one. I’m twenty-six. Shouldn’t I be meeting my soulmate any day now?”

“I didn’t get my mark till I was twenty-nine, and I could still meet my mate before you do. It doesn’t work like that.” Bones’ hand rested on his heart. His mark was a boring little _Leo_ which was _not_ how his ex-wife thought of him. Hence the divorce.

Jim itched at the plaster stuck to his own chest. He never uncovered the _Captain_ anymore. Hearing the word come at him all day, every day, from every person on his ship kept him from forgetting it.

He glared at the PADD. No more sex with his crew. He couldn’t afford to keep losing good people.

Besides—with his luck, he’d meet his soul mate when he was in his freaking eighties.

“Fine. That transfer request was from Chapel, by the way.”

“Why I oughta… she was my best nurse!”

* * *

 

Chekov was flirting with a young scientist, Spock and Uhura were making eyes at each other, and even Keenser was holding hands with their new Teensy crewmember Kevin, a pairing Jim did not want to think about.

Fine. It was his party and he could cry if he wanted.

He chugged down some strong, smooth bourbon, then motioned for another glass.

He turned thirty today. Thirty years old, and no soulmate in sight.

Well, no romantic soulmate anyway.

Jim carried his second glass of alcohol across the room, meeting and greeting as he went. He kept one eye on Spock and Uhura and headed in their direction when Uhura stepped away from the table.

He slid up next to Spock. “I heard about Ambassador Spock.” Jim paused. What more could he say? _I’m sorry_ didn’t feel like enough. “Is that what you wanted to mention that time in the turbolift?”

“More or less.” Huh. That was a shifty reply.

Jim studied his best friend. His platonic soulmate. After almost four years together, Jim could understand what Spock was saying without him having to say it.

Whatever was bothering him was buried deep this time.

“I trust your meeting with Commodore Paris went well?” Spock asked.

“More or less.” He couldn’t bring himself to tell Spock that he almost left him.

When Spock had beamed aboard the Franklin with a huge gash in his side, he saw Spock’s name scribbled right next to that gash. He’d remembered where Vulcans kept their hearts. His whole chest had frozen for a long moment before his lungs remembered he needed oxygen to live.

He wondered if that was how Spock felt when Jim died. If Spock had died… Jim wasn’t sure he would have remembered to breathe.

Bones interrupted his thoughts. “You really wanna head back out there, huh?”

Jim looked up to where their new ship was being built, Spock on one side and Bones on the other.

“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

* * *

Every since Spock and Uhura broke up, Jim had to constantly fight the urge to smack both of them upside their heads.

Spock was poking at his plomeek soup. Uhura had her back to them across the mess and was laughing at something Scotty had said.

Jim speared some salad with his fork. “Now that we’re all on the Enterprise-A, I’m sure you and Uhura will fix things.”

Spock’s eyebrows drew together. “I have no wish to engage in a relationship with Lieutenant Uhura, Captain.”

“You’re mooning over her right now, Spock!”

“I am eating right now. Additionally, the Lieutenant believes she has located her soulmate. I have no wish to interfere with their happiness.”

“What?” Jim’s eyebrows were probably mimicking Spock’s at this point. “But… you… weren’t you together for five years? How the hell are you not soulmates?”

Spock set his spoon on the table with a soft _clink_ , then folded his hands in his lap. “The Lieutenant’s mark reads ‘Ny.’” His lips thinned. “Vulcans use titles or full names to show respect. To shorten one’s name is illogical.”

“Hey!” Jim leaned back in his seat. He kicked at Spock under the table. “You call me Jim.”

Spock’s face relaxed and his posture loosened. “Indeed.”

“Does that mean you think I’m illogical?”

“You fail to respond to the name James forty-three percent of the time. However, you consistently respond to either Jim or Captain.”

Jim didn’t realize he didn’t answer to James, but it made sense. He hated his name. “I’m glad you call me Jim, even if you think of me as James.”

Spock’s brow furrowed again. “I would not think of you as James, as you do not consider that your name.”

“So, why can’t you think of Uhura as Ny?”

“Her title is Lieutenant, and her preferred name is Nyota. It would be disrespectful to shorten her name of my own accord.”

Except, apparently her soulname was “Ny” so she obviously wouldn’t give a damn if Spock called her that.

Jim shook his head at the “logical” Vulcan.  “Seems like a stupid reason to break up.”

“There were… other factors.” Spock picked up his spoon again and returned to poking at his soup.

Ah. Jim knew there had to be more to it. “Like…?”

“I planned to leave Starfleet to assist in the repopulation effort on New Vulcan. Lieutenant Uhura felt that I could not be her soulmate if I could make such a decision without her.”

Jim nearly knocked over his salad. “You were going to leave?!”

“Do not worry, Captain. I have determined that I have many more years to contribute to that mission. I will be remaining in Starfleet for the forseeable future.”

The foreseeable future was the remainder of their five-year mission. After that, everyone’s plans would be up in the air as command made decisions about where to place people.

In as little as two years, Jim could lose Spock.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. He’d never thought about it before. Well, he’d thought about it when he planned to stay at Yorktown, but he knew where Spock would be then. He’d be Captain of the Enterprise, and Jim would be Vice Admiral, and they’d have to stay in contact because Yorktown would be the closest deep space base.

But Spock was talking about hauling his ass halfway across the quadrant to New Vulcan to have babies!

“Do you think your soulmate is on New Vulcan?”

Spock finally took the last bite of his plomeek soup. “No. A Vulcan would refer to me by my title or entire clan name. I am certain that my mate is Human.” He stood, empty bowl in one hand and spoon in the other. “I must return to my experiment. Shall we meet for chess at 1900, Jim?”

Jim nodded, his voice curiously absent. He didn’t know how to process the fact that his platonic soulmate was going to be leaving him… and not even for a romantic soulmate! For babies!

* * *

 

Jim leaned on the buzzer for Bones’ room. He should have gotten off duty an hour ago. He couldn’t be sleeping because Bones refused to sleep until Gamma shift, which wasn’t for another five hours.

At last the door slid open.

Bones stood there without a shirt, a very unpleasant look on his face. “This had better be important, Jim.”

“Spock wants Vulcan babies!”

“Oh, hell. I was wondering if he was ever gonna tell you about that.”

“He told you?!” How come Uhura and Bones both knew before he did? Jim was supposed to be his best friend! They’d faced death together and saved each other and all that crap and Spock went and told Bones first?!

“Who is it?” a voice called from the bed. A young, male, Russian voice. “Leo?”

 _Leo_?

Bones glanced back over his shoulder. “Shit. I know you’re having a panic attack, but I’m kinda in the middle of something.”

Jim pointed to Bones’ chest. “Leo?”

Bones covered his face with both hands. “I don’t even know Jim. I’m still figuring it out.” His hands fell to his side. “I need to go do more _figuring it out_ , in fact.”

Jim flapped a hand at him. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Thank God.” Bones nearly ran back to his bed. The door slid shut.

Spock was leaving, and Bones’ soulmate was _Chekov_?

Jim headed for Engineering. They had to be stuck in some kind of weird twilight zone. Maybe that ion storm last week…

* * *

 

Jim found Scotty underneath a console near the warp core, humming some classical rock song under his breath while sparks flew around him.

“Please tell me you're normal.”

Scotty snorted. “Normal is something I’ll never be, laddie.”

“True.” Jim perched on top of a nearby toolbox. “Did you know Spock’s planning to leave Starfleet?”

“Ay, Ny mentioned it to me last week.”

Jim’s stomach dropped to his feet. “Ny?”

“Nyota.” Scotty chuckled. “When she told me to call her Nyota, I said, I cannae wrap my head around such a fancy name for such a wee lassie. Ny is a better fit.”

Head whirling, Jim nodded dumbly.

“Hand me a spanner, will ye?”

Jim handed over the tool. “What does… what does she call you?”

“Montgomery, of all things!” Scotty shook his head. “I told her not to worry about my name, everyone just calls me Scotty, and she says Montgomery is a lovely name which she’d rather use if I didn’t mind.”

Jim has seen Scotty’s soulname before. “Montgomery” was written smack over his heart in fancy swirly letters.

Bones had Chekov, Scotty had Uhura, and Spock was leaving?

Jim headed to his room in a daze.

* * *

 

In his room, Jim pulled off his shirt. He touched the plaster on his chest. He peeled it off.

_Captain_

_Jim_

Both words were as dark as they day they appeared. Nearly eight years of hiding the name hadn’t changed it.

Jim had stopped sleeping with his crew years ago, but he hadn’t stopped looking. When a man or woman caught his eye, he tried to befriend them. Then one of two things would happen. Either they couldn’t see past him being the Captain, or they began to only see him as Jim.

The few that had kept a balance between the two were Uhura, Spock, Bones, and Scotty. Sometimes Jim thought Sulu and Chekov were his friends, but the closest to a friendly name he ever got from them was “Kirk”.

Uhura and Scotty had each other. Bones had Chekov.

Who did Jim have?

* * *

 

Jim had given up on trying to figure out his stupid soulmate situation and was reviewing paperwork when his door buzzed.

It was 1900. Finally. Now Spock could explain exactly why he planned on leaving.

Jim opened the door and stepped back to let Spock in. The door slid shut. Before he could say anything, Spock looked down at his chest.

“Captain?”

Oh, fuck, he’d forgotten to put on a shirt. “Sorry, give me a second…” He turned to grab his discarded shirt, but Spock’s hand on his shoulder stopped him. “What?”

Spock trailed his fingers across Jim’s shoulder and down to his heart. They landed on _Captain_.

“You kept this covered.”

“I never wanted two names. People made fun of this one.”

Spock’s hand didn’t move. “I assumed you were concealing a scar.”

Jim’s heart was beating fast under Spock’s fingers. “Nah, just a broken heart.”

Their eyes met. “A broken heart?” Jim looked away.

“I wanted a soulmate. It’s stupid and not very manly or—“ he laughed “—or Captain-ly. But I wanted one.”

“Jim.” Spock’s fingers slipped down to the second name.

“I know. It’s not logical.” He pulled on his shirt. “Besides, I’ve got you. You’re like my platonic soulmate, right? Except for the fact that you’re leaving me.”

Jim put on his best puppy dog pout, ready to play the moment off as him being an emotional human. He met Spock’s gaze again, and was shocked at the ferocity of it.

“Captain.”

“Spock?”

“Jim.”

“What, Spock?”

Spock looked… angry. Shocked. Confused? Jim couldn’t tell.

“Your soulname is Jim.”

“I know, right? That’s what makes this so hard! Why couldn’t it have been something unique like Jim-Bob or J.T. or—“

“Captain.”

“What, Spock?” Jim tried to hide the frustration in his voice. What did he _want_?

“I call you Jim.”

“Yes, you do.” This had to be due to that ion storm. Maybe he should have the science department go over their scans again…

“Your soulname is also Captain.”

“Yes, Spock. I know.”

“I call you Captain.”

Halfway through an eyeroll, Jim froze. “Wait. What?”

“I am _not_ your platonic soulmate.” Spock grabbed the front of Jim’s shirt and ripped it in half, baring his chest.

“You were with Uhura.”

Spock’s hand pressed against Jim’s names. “I am no longer in a relationship with the Lieutenant.”

“You’re leaving.”

“Not for the forseeable future.”

“There’s only two years left in the mission.”

“There are decades left of your life.”

His life? Jim’s life? Spock’s forseeable future was Jim’s entire life?

Well, duh. The Ambassador lived 162 years.

Jim pulled up Spock’s shirt. _Spock_ jumped out at him, the thin scar from his injury scarily close to the _k_.

“You said your soulmate is Human.”

“You are Human.”

So he was.

He knew what Spock was trying to say, but it couldn’t be true. How could he have missed it? How could he have stood next to Spock for the past four years and not have known?

“When did you realize?” he whispered. He meant the question as much for himself as for Spock.

“When you died.” Spock’s fingers twitched against Jim’s chest. “I could not face a world without you. I knew by then that Nyota was not my soulmate, but we were best friends. I stayed with her. I tried not to think of you as my Captain, but I could not. You cannot be Jim without being the Captain.”

All those years ago, Ambassador Spock had said the same thing. That _he_ had to become the Captain.

“So if I’d taken that stupid plaster off…”

“Then we could have been doing this for years.”

“Doing wha—“

Jim’s voice was cut off when Spock captured his lips in a kiss.

Oh. That was nice. That was very, very nice.

Jim wrapped his arms around Spock’s neck and yanked him closer. Spock’s hands fell to Jim’s hips.

The door buzzed.

Fuck being responsible. Jim pulled away with a sigh. “Let me see who it is.”

“Of course, Captain.”

The way Spock said his name sent heat spiraling down his spine. Jim opened the door before he could change his mind.

Bones stood in the hall. He took one look at Jim’s shirt, then peered behind him. He didn't seem shocked to see Spock. “Guess you don’t need to talk anymore?”

“Well, yeah, I mean… Chekov?”

“Go cuddle your hobgoblin.” Bones stomped off.

Jim turned back to Spock with a grin. “You know, it’s a good thing Bones isn’t your mate. You’d have to spend the rest of your life named Hobgoblin.”

“Captain.” Spock pulled him into an embrace. “Stop talking.”

“And you know what? It’s really stupid that our soulnames randomly appear at some point in our twenties. Imagine if soulnames showed up the first time you talked to your mate. Or maybe the first time you touched. You’d be like, whoa, look, I shook your hand and now I’m named!”

“Jim.” Spock’s lips hovered above Jim’s. “Stop talking.”

Jim shut up.


End file.
